Rick and Janell's News: MY DAD

Two days after Thanksgiving Rick and I made the drive down to Vegas to help with my mom and dad for a few days. Rick was not planning on going because he had a lot of work visits to make for the Christmas holiday. I asked him to come with me for the weekend. I just wanted him there and hated the thought of being without him. What a blessing that it worked out that he could come.

We were there for the weekend then Rick needed to leave. He drove the car back while I stayed for a couple more days to continue helping. As I was leaving that last time on Wednesday morning, I hugged him and told him I loved him. He responded, "Love you, too. Call me when you get there." I said, I would and then left. I called him after Rick picked me up and he told me, "Thanks for coming down." I said, you're welcome and that I would see him in a couple of weeks.

And that was it. The last time I talked to my dad.

The following week I got a call at 2 AM from Mare saying that dad had been vomiting that evening and it had caused a type of stroke and that he was having sever bleeding on the brain. He was not expected to live too much longer. Rick and I knew we needed to get to Vegas as soon as possible. We got up the next morning and left. Just after coming through Cedar City we got the call that he had passed. We were still a couple of hours out but we drove straight to the hospital. Scott and Kathy, Paul, Terri and Jonathon were there. I was able to touch him and tell him I loved him before the mortician got there to take his body.

Luckily, Mare had picked up my mom the first thing that morning and brought her in to see dad. He was unresponsive and it was really upsetting to her to see that. She struggled throughout a lot of the day not fully comprehending what was going on. But the last 1/2 an hour she was able to calm down and hold his hand while he passed. My dad never wanted to leave my mom. He wanted her to be the first one to go. Mare had to whisper in his ear that it was ok for him to leave and that we (her children) would take care of her for him. After he passed someone noticed a teardrop coming out of his eye. It was felt that this was my dad showing us what he was feeling by giving up his will and that he trusted us to care for her.

My dad was a good, loving husband. He loved my mom tremendously and they were always affectionate with each other. Every morning he would give my mom a good morning kiss and every night he would be sure to give her a goodnight kiss. They truly loved each other.

That night a miracle occurred. For a number of years now, around five, some of my siblings have not been on the best of terms. Even to the point that some had not set foot in my parents home for that many years. It has been a difficult thing to witness such a close family be torn apart by difference of opinions. I know this hurt my parents deeply. Well, that night a text was sent out with an apology and forgiveness extended.

The next day we all (except Boyd who was at work and Deanna and Kelly who were meeting by face time since Kelly had knee surgery the previous day) gathered together to talk about funeral plans. We all were in the same room, communicating. What a wonderful thing to occur. We were able to make assignments;

Mare: flowers and a talk about dad

Kathy and her girls: dad memorabilia for the foyer,

me: obituary, life sketch, and grandchildren's song

Terri, Deanna, and Paul: memories of dad

Scott: a song of cowboy medley and good friend

Paul: the family prayer

Jeremy: the opening prayer

Rick: the closing prayer

Pete: the dedication of the grave

We decided that Bishop Houston would speak and Boyd would say a few words at the end of the service.

We decided at that time to meet the following night to share family memories so that I could have some ideas for the life sketch.

First thing the next morning, Scott, Mare, Rick and I drove to La Paloma mortuary to sign documents and make some decisions regarding the details of dad's funeral plan. Luckily, some years before, dad and mom purchased a funeral plan and paid all of their expenses at that time. There were just a few things to do including setting a date for the service. We decided on Saturday the 20th. That was still over a week away and we were hoping to have it earlier but it worked out just fine.

That evening all my siblings and their spouses (except Kelly sho was still recuperating) got together to have dinner (thanks to Pilipino BBQ's Mikey and Tonya) and to share family memories. It started out kind of rough as it took a half an hour to figure where to put Jake as a speaker not he program. After that we started talking about memories and it ended up being the best night! My mom was awake and even had a silly grin on her face as we all shared fun times with our dad! It really was wonderful laughing and getting along just like the old days when there was so much fun in our family.

These are the only pictures I got but Rick recorded us laughing and telling stories.

We all had our assignments. Rick and I stayed two more nights with my mom and drove back home on Monday. We were emotionally spent and grateful to walk into our home after a long five days.

Here are some fun pictures I gathered to send to Jake to make a video of dad/grandpa.

Rick and I were able to spend the next few night at home. We drove as far as St. George late Thursday night and got up early to get to the funeral home by 9:00.

Mare, Gabby, Tori, and I met Pete and Terri at La Paloma.

We were able to go into the room to get dad's temple robes on him. The right side of his body looked really good. On that side his face had lot all of its unsightly blood vessels. The left side did not look as good and his left hand was purple. Apparently that is where the embalming is done.

The next day was the funeral. I had spent MANY hours typing and editing the life sketch. Really, I think I calculated at least eight hours of work on that thing. Thankfully, I was able to take a lot of information out of my mom and dad's life history that I had typed about fifteen years ago and even though I still was editing the day before, I feel like it turned out very well.

The night had been rough with my mom. She got up at least TEN times in the night and she did not want to get out of bed. She did NOT want to go to the funeral but there was no way I was going to let that happen. I got her up ad ready and got myself ready and we were at the church by 8 AM. I wanted to let my mom have some time with my dad alone before the viewing started. She did not like being in the room with his body. I think her mind was somewhat in denial and like she could not understand what had happened. We didn't stay in the room too long. the viewing started at 8:30 but it took a little while before people started coming. And then the floodgates opened. It was nonstop greeting people until the time of the family prayer at 10:15. I was thankful that I was standing next to Paul and Mare because some of the people I had not seen for forty years, and people look different after forty years!

They were able to fill me in on who was who and it was nice talking to people.

The family prayer was given by Paul.

The funeral service went really well.

everyone did very well on their talks and memories.

The music was beautiful. I had chosen a beautiful rendition of I am a Child of God for the grandchildren to sing. They pulled the harmony off so nicely and I was very happy with the way it sounded.

Here is a picture of them.

We were hopeful that the service would only last an hour but it stretched on for an hour and a half.

We then went right into the family luncheon put on by the ward Relief Society.

My mom was tired so Rick and I took her home to rest.

Skylar brought us over some food from the luncheon. It was great!

Daisy was sick with a fever throughout the whole day. (Rafe was terribly sick with the croup, as well:(

Skylar and Sarah decided that it was best that they get on the road to get her home.

They felt bad about missing the burial service.

We got a quick picture of my mom and Skylar and Henry and Charles.

Did I mention that my mom looked so beautiful that day?

Tonya had cut her hair a few days prior and we found a nice outfit that was in fall colors.

My dad's favorite! I was able to do her hair and put on a little makeup and she looked very nice.

I put these pants on her AFTER the funeral but the top is what she wore.

The burial was scheduled to start at 3 PM in Mesquite and hours drive away.

We arrived just in time and had a beautiful burial service.

Pete gave a short talk and Tori sang, Good Friend. She struggled through part of it and so her dad got up and helped her until she could get her composure and finish the song. It was very tender.

Pete dedicated the grave and then we gathered for pictures.

Here is a picture of all of us siblings oldest to youngest being the casket.

Before the Bomans go on the road they got a quick picture with grandma.

The next day Scott went to Mesquite to make a monument for the grave. He knew that it would be quite some time for a gravestone to be made so he wanted to have something to mark the grave until then.

He and Jake and their friend Troy, spent the day making this. It says,

Dedicated to Richard L. Hafen

May 16th 1939

December 10th 2025

It is adorned with a hay pick and a horseshoe and has his Diamond RH brand o the top right corner and his dad's LH brand on the bottom left corner.

It is so fitting for him,💙